Prepare Yourself. You're About To Win Mother Of The Year.

Pardon my terrible photography skills.

Well, that's a pretty cake, Jackie, but how is it going to win me mother of the year?

And why does your hand look like it's made out of plastic?

Oh, that? 

That's just my friend BARBIE.  And you and your daughter are about to throw her a birthday party.

I have to give credit, here, for the original idea.  She also does donuts that my camera just would not get a decent picture of. 

I previously thought there was no improving upon the Oreo.  I was wrong.

Enter:  Berry Burst Ice Cream Oreos.  I thought they would be cute for the cakes.  I didn't know they were going to TASTE SO GOOD.

Frost an Oreo, with regular, plain old frosting in a can.

Slap another Oreo on top of it, and frost the whole thing like you would a cake.

Decorate as desired.

Your kid is going to love you forever.  Or at least for the next five minutes, until you tell her they have to sit for several hours to allow the oreo to soften and become cake-like.  Overnight is probably best.  Ours were still crunchy.  And still delicious.

I just did the cake, but you could go all out.  Party dresses, decorations, you name it.  So.  Cute.

Restaurant Food

I like to go out to eat almost as much as I like to cook.  The suggestion of a right restaurant makes me abandon even the most tempting of recipes.  I've recently become a fan of Outback Steakhouse.  They have a $6 Mediterranean Chicken Flatbread that is AMAZING with their balsamic reduction and a Gingerbread Cookie Martini that is out of this world.  My kids love steak so we order a little extra food and we are good to go.  They also have a side of sweet potato fries that my husband has taken to making at home:

Sweet Potato Fries

Cut up your sweet potatoes after rinsing them off.  In strips, you know, like french fries.  Leave the skin on, there's vitamins in there.  Or something.
Put them in a bowl and drizzle some olive oil on them.  Toss them until they're shiny and coated.
Lay them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and sprinkle with Salt and Pepper.
Bake at 400 for 30 minutes or until tender.
Drizzle with honey and serve warm.

Delish.

Possibly my favorite chain restaurant is Bonefish Grill.  I first discovered this in Gainesville, Florida and have since come to find out they are everywhere.  Their calamari is among the best in the world (and I have had calamari all over the world) and their signature appetizer, Bang Bang Shrimp, is Un.  Believable.

Recently I had some shrimp in the freezer I needed to do something with.  I originally bought it to "butterfly" it for Ayla's butterfly party.  I'm so clever.  But it didn't happen so I was going to make it for dinner.  The only problem is that my husband doesn't like shrimp. 

You read that right.  Doesn't.  Like.  Shrimp.  And I still married him.

I said, Well, I can chop it up really small and mix it in a spaghetti sauce.....

Eh.

I can make soup and puree it like a bisque...

No.

I can make it really spicy and mix it with pasta...

'I like Bang Bang Shrimp.  It would be cool if you could make that at home.'

Mission accepted.  One Google search later and a raiding of my pantry, I was good to go.  I'm just sorry he didn't suggest it sooner.

Bang Bang Shrimp copycatted from Bonefish.

about a pound of shrimp, deveined, detailed, and peeled.
panko bread crumbs
cornstarch

milk
sriracha chili sauce

sweet thai chili sauce (I did not have this.  I used extra sriracha and a little honey.)
mayo (I use the half-fat stuff made with olive oil and I think this did affect the taste a little.)
rice vinegar

salt, pepper, red pepper to taste.
scallions for garnish if desired.

You know I don't measure.  Soak the shrimp in milk and dunk them by the handful in the cornstarch.  From the cornstarch, go back to the milk, but ONLY for a second.  You don't want to wash off the cornstarch.  From the second milk bath, go to the panko and toss them in there to get them completely coated.  The sticky cornstarch and milk should make the shrimp really stick to the panko.  This will make it light and crispy even in the heavy sauce.  From the panko go to the fryer.  My husband has worked in commercial kitchens and does the frying for me.  Basically heat up some vegetable oil in a small pot to about 350 degrees.  Drop the shrimp in it until it's golden-ish, but not yet brown.  If you can see any of the shrimp itself, it will be pink.  Fish it out with a "spider" or a slotted spoon.  My "spider" is the perfect size for my frying pot.  I have to put "spider" in quotation marks to calm my arachnophobia.  Set the shrimp on a paper towel to drain while you're frying the rest of the shrimp.

To make the sauce, start with a couple tablespoons of mayo (recipe I found calls for half a cup).  Add sriracha sauce and honey, a splash of vinegar, and salt and pepper and cayenne in small amounts, whisking gently and tasting frequently, until you like the way it tastes.  It should be slightly sweet and pretty spicy, and orangey - pinkish in color.

Toss the fried shrimp in the sauce and devour.  You're welcome.

Don't Ask.

Do not ever ask a stay at home mother what she does all day.  You will get punched in the face.  And then you will receive this explanation:

I wake up at 1AM, 3AM, and 5AM, and then sometimes I get to go back to sleep until 6:30 or 7.  I let the dog out.  I put orange juice in sippy cups and nutella on whole-wheat bread, and sit the kids at the table.  I kiss them good morning and I ask them if they slept well.  I go up the stairs to bring the baby down and nurse her while the older ones are eating.  They finish before she does and they get nutella everywhere before I can wipe it from their hands.  I put the baby in a safe place from the older kids and clean up the nutella and let the dog back in.  I change three diapers and put three sets of pajamas in the laundry.  I refill the sippy cups and unload the dishwasher.  I resolve a lego conflict.  I separate the screaming children and let the dog out.  I fold some laundry and start two more loads.  I put the oldest in timeout for pushing her sister.  I make a cup of coffee.  I start a movie for the kids.  I feed the baby and type a few words one-handed.  I remove wet underwear from my oldest with my feet.  I let the baby sleep in the swing.  I microwave my coffee.  I play dress-up and tea party.  I tell them how delicious my "chocolate" tea is, and how pretty they look in the cinderella dress.  I load the dishwasher and wipe down the countertops.  I let the dog back in.  At 9 I bring them upstairs to watch Little Einsteins so I can brush my teeth, put clean clothes on, make my bed, and straighten my hair.  I grab some clothes from their room and get them dressed.  I text my husband to say hi.  At 9:30 I feed the baby and put the kids on the car to go to the commissary / department store / doctor / mailbox / park / neighbors' house.  I smile when strangers say "you've got your hands full!"  At 11 we come home and I make their lunch and sit them at the table.  I put the groceries / purchases away.  I feed the dog and let her outside.  I feed the baby.  I let the dog back in.  I go to the bathroom and then I eat for the first time. I pour my abandoned coffee down the drain.  I search for a lost earring.  I remove my 3 year old from my two year old.  I  make faces with the baby and take some pictures.  I refill sippy cups.  I check email while they're calm.  Ayla knocks over my water onto my camera.  I take apart my camera and let it air-dry.  At 1 PM I change two diapers.  I swaddle the baby and put her down for a nap.  I find a pacifier for the toddler and put her down for a nap.  I play play-doh, cootie, chutes and ladders, and practice letters with my oldest.  I praise her rainbow-colored sculptures and her cootie creativity.  I commend her progress with the letter "R."  She plays outside while I get on the computer again to finish Christmas shopping / date night planning / grandparent correspondence / best friend's wedding planning / hand-me-down selling / side job working.  I get something out for dinner.  I refill sippy cups.  I let the dog out and back in.  I clean up an unidentified mess.  I put all the toys back in the playroom.  I put all the puzzles back together.  I sweep the kitchen and vacuum the living room.  I wipe down light switch covers and doorknobs, or wipe down the baseboards, or vacuum the upstairs.  I write a thank-you note / wrap a gift / plan a daytrip / schedule playdate or doctor appointment / respond to an invitation.  The napping kids wake up.  I change two diapers, get the toddler a snack, and feed the baby.  I type a few lines one-handed.  I text my husband to say hi.  I take a phone call from mom / grandmother / aunt / in-laws / friend / neighbor and build a tower in the playroom with the kids.  I take Barbie away from the dog.  I put ornaments back on the tree, play-doh back in the canisters, jewelry back in my room, dirty clothes back in the hampers, and do another load of laundry.  I change my shirt because it's recently been covered in various body fluids.  I empty the dishwasher and wipe down the counters.  I flush the downstairs toilet and hope there's nothing valuable in it.  My husband comes home at 5 and keeps the kids out of the kitchen while I make dinner.  He chops veggies for me and butterflies chicken.  He changes diapers.  I feed the dog.  We eat dinner.  He tells me how good it was.  We put a family movie on, and I go upstairs to get PJs.  Hubs bathes all three kids, and I dry them off and put PJs on them. I put day clothes in the hampers.  They finish their movie.  I feed the baby, swaddle her, and put her to bed.  I ask my husband how his day was.  I do a puzzle with my two-year-old and I clap my hands when she puts the last piece in.  He reads the girls a story and puts them to bed.  I get in the shower.  He lets the dog out and back in.  I do the dishes.  We watch some TV or a movie.  I go to bed, and I wonder if I did enough for my little family today.  If they learned anything, if they got enough attention, if they got enough hugs, if I yelled at them too much, if they were over- or under-stimulated, if their pajamas are warm enough, if they are happy.  And I hope one day they understand I tried. 

Survival, and Scrapbooking.

If you've been reading you know I was husbandless this summer and did not have a whole lot of time for anything.  I was seven months pregnant and it was all I could do to do the minimum amount of cleaning and basic hygiene.  I was with the kids all day and we were really active, we went to playgroups almost daily, my oldest and I did crafts while the younger one slept, and I tried to fill our days to make the time go by faster, and it worked.  We wrote to Daddy everyday, made a big production of going to the mailbox to check for replies, and sent him little hand-made gifts and scribbles.  He was able to call occasionally, but usually after the girls were in bed.  Audrey and I talked a TON about where Daddy was, and why he was there, and we had the vitamin jar.  A jar with same number of vitamins as there were days left to see Daddy.  So when the vitamins were gone, Daddy would be home.  It worked really well.  But with jam-packed days, I didn't have a lot of time to maintain my home.  With limited mobility, sometimes I didn't have the physical ability.

I'm what I call a late-morning person.  I have the most energy from about 9 in the morning to noon.  Usually, I can get my entire house clean during this period of time, but obviously it's destroyed again in ten minutes and I was tired of waking up to a filthy  house.  So I started cleaning after the kids went to bed.  I was exhausted, so I definitely half-assed it, but it was better than nothing.  The FlyLady helped me out a lot with this.  She has a way of wording chores that make them seem so easy and doable, not at all overwhelming, and she encourages you to just do what you can and not worry about the rest.  Brilliant.  So I would shove all the toys into a corner, vacuum the middle of the room, load the dishwasher, shine my sink, start the washing machine, and clear a "hot spot", all in about a half hour.  Bonus:  The white noise puts the kids to sleep.  Then in the morning, I just folded the one load of laundry, put away the one load of dishes, and I felt a little better about the condition of the house.  I was mostly worried about sanitation, because I had a small bug problem which I didn't want to get worse, and obviously I didn't want to get sick without my other half, so the clutter got worse and worse.  I had a friend who would say, It's okay, it's just stuff.  We all have stuff.  Let it go.  So I did :)  I let sleep and kid-time win over cleaning.  Sometimes you have to.

I am a firm believer in Mommy's sanity coming *almost* ahead of everything else, because Mommy can't be a good Mommy if Mommy is a crazy person.  So I did get a babysitter a few times a week.  I went to trivia once a week, bunco once a month, book club once a month, and did a few Miche parties here and there. (jackiemarks.miche.com).  You have to feel like a real person sometimes, and it doesn't hurt the kids to be with another adult for a short period of time, certainly.  I actually felt guilty about this for a few weeks until I told myself most single moms spent a lot more time away from their kids than I do. 

Now imagine this household I've described, and then add the newborn baby.  That's exactly why I was not about to move away from my friends and my parents before she was born (I was given the option).  My friends brought us food, they vacuumed, they picked up toys, they did dishes, and they sat and chatted with me while the kids played.  Pure.  Awesomeness.  And I hope I can pay it forward someday.

Now that we are reasonably settled and my newborn is no longer a newborn, I am scrapbooking again!!  Yay!!  The whole reason I came to blog today is scrapbooking, but I felt the need to explain just how much I could not scrapbook for most of the year.  My husband is awesome, and he understand the need for a sane Mommy too, so he will let me lock myself in a room for hours (sometimes days) to scrap.  I finally finished Ayla's baby book, and worked on a few other projects.

 Above is a growth chart I need to have laminated.  Below are Butterfly Party decorations, all made with the cricut.  Get one.  It's awesome.

Below are word-building flashcards I made with the cricut.

And pics of Ayla's baby book:

Sorry for the glare; I was in a hurry and will take better ones tomorrow.  Below is a pic of a pouch I glued to the back cover of the album, in which I keep things like ultrasound pictures, hospital bracelets, and Disney tickets.

And there you have it :)  Thanks for bugging me to get blogging again.

Thanksgiving :)

This was the first Thanksgiving I didn't have to cook for 14+ people.  There were only three of us so I was CRAZY excited to experiment with the menu.  I wanted to use traditional flavors in some jazzed up ways.  I don't know about you, but my family eats the saaaaame thing every year and heaven forbid somebody try something new.  I'm talking jellied cranberry sauce in the shape of the can.  Yeah.

So as you know I subscribe to Rachael Ray's magazine and her Thanksgiving issue was sublime.  I took all of these recipes from her magazine; they are not my originals :)  You can find them in all their glory on her site.

Mustard-marinated Turkey (I only used a breast)
Cran-Raspberry Sauce
Bacon Gravy
Fruited Brioche Stuffing
Acorn Squash Souffle
Root Vegetable Gratin
Sage and Rosemary Breadsticks (not Rachael's recipe; my own.)
Jack Daniels Pecan Pie

Delish.  Everything except my breadsticks turned out amazing.  I'm still not sure how I managed to screw up breadsticks out of a can, but there you have it.  The turkey was moist and flavorful, the gravy was velvety, the stuffing was comforting, the souffle was luscious, and the gratin was, well, cheesy.  I'm lazy so I'm only going to talk about a few of them.

Cran-Raspberry Sauce.

Meet the only cranberry sauce you'll ever make again.  The easiest, tastiest accompaniment.  Ever.

2 cans whole-berry cranberry sauce
10 oz frozen raspberries.

Stick 'em in the microwave and mix 'em up.  Just heat them until the raspberries are defrosted and the canned stuff is incorporated.  Serve chilled.  Like whoa.  I can't believe I don't have a picture of it.

Fruited Brioche Stuffing

Brioche is a sweet bread, one I could not find, so I used Hawaiian Bread.  Cut it up into squares and toast in the oven, but watch it like a hawk so it doesn't burn.  Mine was a little ... over-caramelized.  Toast some walnuts at the same time.  Then Sautee 3 chopped shallots in some butter, and add 2 chopped pears.  Cook until softened.  Stir in 1 cup each of dried apricots, cherries, and figs.  Combine the fruit mixture with the bread and the walnuts in a large bowl.  Stir in 2 cups chicken broth, a beaten egg, some thyme, salt, and pepper.  Transfer to a greased baking dish, cover with foil, and bake at 350 for 45 minutes.  If you want to serve it immediately, remove the foil and bake for another 15 minutes.  If you need to make it ahead of time, you can do the 15-minute stretch right before serving. 

This was delicious.  I don't think I've ever enjoyed stuffing before this.

The other items were equally awesome but as I said, I'm lazy and pressed for time....the little ones will be waking up soon. 

I think the biggest difference this year was that I did it ALL by myself.  My husband chopped some veggies, but I really wanted to do it all myself because, when you have 14 people over, it's usually more of a potluck deal.  I gotta say I was pretty proud of myself for getting everything on the table, HOT, at a reasonable hour.  It was still two hours later than I thought it would be....but that's why you plan to eat at noon :)

Happy Holidays.

Tomorrow I promise a crafting post <3

I Had A Good Excuse. Or Two Or Three.

When last we met I was pregnant with number 3, quietly settled with my husband at home, taking care of my kids.  All hell has since broken loose.  My husband had to go on a three-month assignment.  He had all his personal belongings stolen.  I started a small business.  I had my third baby.  Hubs got promoted.  We moved to another state.  And then, because we weren't busy enough, we got a puppy.  Hi, my name is Jackie and I need to be committed. 

While he was off training, I thought I'd try to make things easier on myself and cook kid food every once in awhile for dinner, and stock up on relatively healthy packaged foods:  fruit cups, yogurt, hummus, etc.  My first attempt at kid food was grilled cheese.  My almost-2 and almost-4 year olds looked at me like I had two heads.  This is the only "con" I have encountered to feeding your kids the same things you eat.  They don't grow up eating grilled cheese.  I couldn't quite seem to get it right, either, the bread was burnt or the cheese wasn't melted, and then somebody told me I need to use American cheese.  Not happening.  Grilled Cheese: abandoned.

We ate a lot of pasta this summer.

My friends did an amazing job of distracting me from the fact that I was essentially a single mother of three with a newborn, and they even helped with the housework.  I couldn't have asked for better friends, and of course the grandparents helped a great deal while I was a postpartum hormonal mess.  After about 8 weeks of that we moved into our new home, unpacked our kitchen, and I figured I should start cooking for real again.  I took pictures with the intent of blogging, but time is not something I have in abundance.  Finally, here I am.

For Ayla's second birthday, we threw her a butterfly party.  I ordered decorations and crafts for the kids, and made some super-fun kid party food :)  I always worry that other people's kids won't like my food, so I frequently serve PBJs at kids parties.  This time I used a cookie cutter to make them fit the theme.

Then I made two butterfly cakes.

 

I could have made one two-layer cake, but I wanted to decorate both butterflies. 

I got the cake mold from Oriental Trading and I used gel icing to decorate the butterflies.

Next I wanted to use these adorable molds, but I wanted something savory to act as the entree so I decided to do a filled pastry.  I don't know why spanikopita popped into my head, but that's what I decided to go with.  First I rolled out three cans of seamless crescent roll dough with a little flour, cut each into 6 rectangles, and stretched out each rectangle in my hands a little before lining the mold with it.  You have to push it down in the mold a little bit, and it can be tricky but you have flour on the dough and on your hands it should work.  Then I put two fresh baby spinach leaves, without the stems, in the bottom of each mold. 

I topped it with chicken that my husband previously diced, seasoned, cooked, and drained; and then with some store-bought, pre-seasoned, crumbled feta cheese.  Then I folded the dough over the top of the pastries to completely cover the filling and baked them until golden brown. 

They were delicious.

These pastries are really versatile.  We did it the day after thanksgiving with fontina cheese and cranberry sauce.  I did it today with sun-dried tomatoes, kalamata olives, mozzarella, and spinach.  You could do it with eggs and bacon.  Endless possibilities.

Of course since I had a butterfly cookie cutter I had to make sugar cookies.  I've gotten used to store-bought dough because honestly, it tastes better than my home made dough, and it's way easier.  The decorating is the important part anyway. 

Make a paste with powdered sugar and water and use food coloring to make it whatever color you want.  You want it to be a pretty thick paste, or it will never dry.  Here, I wanted to use different colors of sprinkles on each cookie.  To do this, I painted a little icing on the cookie, sprinkled with desired color, and shook off the excess sprinkles before painting icing on another section of the cookie.  If you paint the whole thing with icing before sprinkling, the sprinkles will stick everywhere. 

This was a 10 AM party, which is simultaneously awesome and terrifying.  Awesome, because you're cleaned up and recovered by dinnertime with a much smaller chance of finding drunk college kids on your living room floor.  Terrifying because you wake up on a Saturday morning and OMG YOU'RE HAVING PEOPLE OVER IN TWO HOURS!!  Anyway, the party was a hit and I got a slew of easy dinner ideas out of it!  Bonus!

If I can just get through this parenting thing without giving any of my kids a complex, I think I will be satisfied.  My three year old is crazy.  I wonder where she gets it from.

The Mini-muffin Tin Strikes Again

I've been wanting to throw a Cheeseburger in Paradise / Margaritaville / Parrothead Party for awhile now, and my husband's college graduation presented the perfect opportunity.  I love themed food; it's so much fun to create little twists on classic party favorites, and to find new ones that people will love. 

We turned deviled eggs into "brown-eyed girls" by putting a sliced black olive on top.  I added paprika to mini raviolis and called them volcanoes.  We had a tropical fruit plate, and a veggie platter we called "parrot food" and served with hummus.  I scoured Jimmy Buffett lyrics for food references and came up with "half-baked" cookies, as well as Junior Mints and Juicy Fruit for cute table garnishes.  And I randomly decided to google a coconut tart recipe and found this little gem on one of the many recipe sites around the internet.  The original recipe is for a pie, but I like to serve finger food at parties so I put my mini muffin pan to work, yet again.

4 pie crusts
1 17oz can grated coconut
1 and 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup melted butter
2 tsps lemon juice
3 beaten eggs
1 tsp vanilla

Use a 2" biscuit cutter to cut your pie crust into mini pie crusts, them ball up the leftover pie crust, roll it back out, and cut again until you've used pretty much all of it. 

You could use a glass if you don't have biscuit cutters.  Like I said, the original recipe is for ONE pie, but I used FOUR pie crusts, so the crust to filling ratio is quite different doing it this way.  You could roll out the pie crust first to flatten it out a little more if you want your crust to go a long way.

Grease your mini-muffin tin and put one miniature pie crust in each spot, pushing down in the middle so you have a little bowl in which to pour your filling. 

Then all you have to do for the filling is beat the eggs and combine all the ingredients.  Super easy.  Pour the mix into your mini pie shells and bake at 350.  The original recipe says 40 minutes, but remember that's for a pie, so these will not take that long.  Mine took about 25 minutes.  Just keep an eye on them and when the crust looks done, your filling should be about done too.  They were a little gooey in the middle (yum) but having cooked for 25 minutes, I wasn't worried about the eggs being underdone.

These were a HIT.